Why
by Everywhere Yet Nowhere
Summary: .:One shot, ItaHina, slight NejiHina:. Hinata can't stop questioning why she loves the man she doesn't want to, and can't love the man that she knows she should.


**Why?**

**Disclaimer: Mine... not. Disclaimed!**

**A/N: I am very very very guilty about liking this pairing... but I need to get it out of my system.**

**XxXxXxX  
**

_I wasn't there._

_How can I hate someone for something that I have only heard about? _

Hinata wasn't feeling the way she was supposed to at all.

_None of this is right._

_Murderer._

_Traitor._

_... Why?_

_Why don't I care?_

_Why don't I condemn... like everyone else?_

_I know he did it._

_There is no reasonable doubt._

_Everybody knows._

_But I can see past that._

_I shouldn't see past it._

_Maybe I see the good in people that aren't good at all._

_Maybe I believe that people can change... too much._

_Does that make me stupid?_

_I see the good in Neji._

_Neji is good. _

_This is much worse._

Sitting on one of the tallest roofs in the Hyuuga compound, overlooking Konoha and the coming dawn Hyuuga Hinata hugged her knees to her chest.

_Why can I see past it?_

_S-class criminal. _

_Missing nin._

_Mass murderer._

_Why don't I care?_

_I know it's true._

_I remember the first time he kissed me._

_At the time, I screamed... I thought he was going to kill me. One hand a round my throat, and then mouth pressed to mine, cold, commanding._

_Why aren't I afraid anymore?_

_Why do I like it when he does that to me now?_

_Now, the kisses, always the same, one hand around my throat, rough... but where once was cold, is now warm, hot. There's passion now. There shouldn't be passion._

_Passion for someone who caused so much pain._

The night was cold, and the girl welcomed it. Everything in her head was telling her her feelings were wrong, bad. No one knew except her, but if they did, what would they say? Perhaps she also would become a criminal. Her family would disown her. The village would shun her. And if he was ever found... he would be killed.

_He deserves to die. He who killed so many of his own family and left nothing._

_Why don't I care?_

_Why don't I want him to die?_

_He's not sorry, he told me himself. He did what he did, and he'd do it again. There was no remorse in him._

_He's so cold._

_  
So why do I feel so warm?_

_Do I love him?_

That is so wrong... so wrong... I should not be allowed to feel like that. Not for him. Not for him.

_Why I feel like I do? _

_I can't say it._

_I can't think it._

_  
I love him!  
_

_Why do I love him?!_

The soft footsteps of someone approaching her on the rooftiles reached her ears. She turned and let out an inquisitive whisper, saying something that she had hidden for so long.

"...Itachi?"

And then, when she realised it was her cousin she almost fainted. She had just said his name... to Neji! Her blood froze as she hoped... against every hope that he hadn't heard.

He knelt down beside her with an extremely troubled expression knitting his eyebrows together. She noticed he had a blanket under one arm and a cup of hot tea in the other.

_For me... why?_

_... I said HIS name... oh God._

"Hinata-sama... did you just say..." then Neji shook himself, his hair falling attractively over his eyes. He'd only gotten more handsome with age, but Hinata did not see it anymore. "Nevermind, I must've imagined it."

Hinata's heart slowed down and she closed her eyes. So much relief flooding through her. Her secret- the most shameful secret- was safe.

"I thought you might be cold, so I brought these." With utmost care, as if she would break, he placed the blanket over her shoulders and passed her the cup of tea. His fingers never touched her once, and for some reason... he wouldn't look in her eyes.

_Does he know?_

_Why does he care so much anyway?_

Though, he did shuffle closer to her as she thanked him quietly. She _was _cold, and his warmth was much appreciated. She didn't ask how he knew she was here, and he didn't ask why she was here in the first place. The words were unspoken, but the feelings were known. And the secrets would stay secrets. Such was the way of all the Hyuugas. Even Hinata, one who always seemed apart from the rest, had secrets now.

_It's been a week since he came._

_What if Sasuke knew he was back?_

_Why am I doing this to everyone... to myself?_

_Most of all why do I love him?_

_Neji's here._

She looked at her cousin who finally looked at her and smiled. That moment... it seemed like they could've moved closer and let an intimacy take place. It was sudden and unexplainable...

But Hinata looked away.

The worst thing of all was what she was thinking now... it hurt so bad that she could think this... and soon, the pain was so great that she was crying into her tea.

Neji was startled. He saw the tears on his cousin's cheeks and put his arms around her. Unbidden, she put her head on his chest and cried openly. He kissed the top of her head and didn't ask what was wrong, he just wanted to hold her until all her pain was gone.

But Hinata's pain wouldn't leave her until she could stop questioning.

Until she could stop herself loving a criminal.

_Until I can stop wishing that this wonderful person who is here for me and is good... so good, could be the one I love._

Why do I wish Neji was Itachi?

_Why do I love the wrong person?_

It had been many minutes now, and Neji couldn't help it anymore. He had to ask her.

"Why are you crying Hinata-sama?"

She couldn't answer.

"I... want to love you Neji..." she trembled and shook in his arms, not looking at him.

"What?"

"I keep asking myself... why... why I can't... but... I just can't... I'm so sorry."

Neji stayed silent and didn't enquire further. There was a long silence filled with Hinata's sobs and Neji stroking her hair... eventually even the sobs stopped and she was asleep in his lap, her long hair spread across his knees.

He wished he knew why she was in pain so he could take it all away. But he just couldn't love her either.

And the problem was, he didn't know why either.

XxXxXxX

From far away the red eyes of Uchiha Itachi watched the scene on the rooftops of the Hyuuga compound. He raised one eyebrow slightly and pulled his hat down over his face. Then, he turned away from the village, making not a sound.a

But he would be back for her.


End file.
